To be Fair

80% is Just Good Enough

The first few weeks after I first learnt about my sister's condition was a difficult one. I struggled to sleep well at night. Worries and anxieties didnt help either. I dreamt the entire night and could remember every bit of it even when I woke up. Some days I woke up with a headache and numbness at my right feet and right arm. Without sufficient sleep, I got cranky during the days.

I finally took sister P's advice to see an acupunturist. I wanted a medical doctor who practices chinese medicine and not a herbalist. After several calls to friends for referrals, here I was, stepping into a traditional chinese medical (TCM) clinic. It looked like any western clinic except the doctor uses no stethoscope. My doctor is Dr.Chang, a square-jawed broad-shouldered and rather loud speaking no-nonsence doctor. Smiling is definitely not part of his training. Judging from his accent, he sounded from the Shandong province.

One look at my right palm, Doctor Chang commented that "you think too much". I was amused and cheekily asked him if there is a cure. He said it is in my character. Ok..this didnt sound that funny. Am I doomed, so I wondered.

After a detailed examination my pulses, my tongue, ears , hands, fingers, nails and even my feet, he diagnosed that, I have very weak qi. He also said my digestive system is not good. That reminded me of the chinese herbalist Uncle Chan in Brunei who always diagnosed us as 胃肠不好
Doctor Chang diagonosed my headache was caused by me dreaming too much at night. Quoting him "I am watching too much movies " in my dream. So I added quickly that this was the reason I came for the acupunture. He cut me off sharply me accupunture would just be a stop-gap measure but for long term recovery, traditional medicine and holistic living must compliment acupunture

Then I was shown into another room. It was a bright spacious one with three tall patient beds and I was asked to lie down on to get ready for my needles poking. I did as instructed. The bed was tall and I had to step on a small stool to climb up. The bed felt just like an operating table. I have never experienced needles poking in my entire life so this was rather scary. I shut my eyes tight and could feel he was pushing his first needle right onto my scalp. Suddenly he stopped, and I quickly openned my eyes.

Stepping back, Dr Chang gasped, with the needle still in his hand and with the tone of a stern head-master, he said rather loudly 你啊，就是城事太认真 80% 就好，不要求 100%，不要转牛尖，你再这样下你会出事的、我从针感上就知道!!!" （"YOU should just be contended with going at 80% or 90%. Dont you try to be achieve the impossible. If you continue at this rate, u will get into trouble !!!! You see I can tell from my needles....."

So here I am, finally forced to confront the dark side of my character on the hard bed of an acupunturist. But is 80% possible at all, when I am trained to achieve not 100% but 110% ? May be is a time for me to start acquianted with this new philosophy that not everything in life I can control. 80% may just be good enough for many people, why not me ?

P/s. I slept very well in the few nights after the treatment. Since then I have been practicing deep breathing exercise before I go to bed. My sleeping qualities have improved tremendously. As for the 80% I am starting from learning to let go.....

posted by Vegie @ 7:58 AM