To be Fair

When the press is not looking

Soroptimist Malaysia(SI) Region of Malaysia is celebrating 15 years of Soroptimism in Malaysia today at Pan Pacific Hotel. SI is the world’s largest non-profit organisation for women in management and profession who champions causes that affect women and children. Pheng, who is Lilian’s mother and an energetic lady, invited me. I have always been interested in topics concerning women and children and this is an excellent opportunity to understand the activities of NGOs in Malaysia.

Tun Dr. M was the keynote speaker. A forum shared by 4 panelists entitled “Peace at Home, Peace in the Country and Peace in the World” followed his speech. The four panelists are experts in their own rights respectively as human right activitist, established economist, NGO representative and famous writer.

Three things struck me from attending today's event. Speaking to some of the SI members, it struck me that their looks can be deceiving. On average, the SI members are in the age group 50- 60’s. Not all are retired profesionals. Some have given up their career in their younger days to focus on running their families. In spite of this, these ladies are very authentic, gregrarious, extremely fun loving and surprisingly sharp. They not only are fully aware of the happenings in our society, they observe keenly the events of the world. The context of peace, and hence the lack of it, is broader than just war between nations, which unfortunately has been Dr.M’s sole focus in his keynote speech today. To many of them, peace encompasses peace between nations, communities, ethnic races, husband and wife, and humanity at large.

My second enlightenment is their commitment to the causes they stand for. The keen involvement from the floor is a big contrast from the pin-drop silence in most IT conferences I have attended. Eager participants traded provocative questions, thoughts and laughters with equally knowledgeable and focused, albeit humorous and eloquent panelists.

To the rhetorical question from one of the participants on “How have we woman ourselves been responsible for bringing up men today who are pro war? ”, it was easy to allow the question slide into a disaster of self-blame on how mothers of warlords have failed miserably in their parenting skill. I applauded the panelists who immediately pointed out that parenting is a joint responsibility of both parents and todays’ conflicts amongst nations, sects or religions are attributed to a complex web of historical, cultural and political differences. There is no easy quick fix but certainly a consistent and aligned effort from every individual will move mountain.

A thought-provoking question of “Despite all that is said about equality, is it really feasible that a family have two captains and husband and wife both have equal rights to make or veto decision making? ” was raised. It caused a roaring laughter when one participant aptly replied on behalf of the panelists, “Don’t worry, sister. Let the men be head, and we woman be neck. The head will turn to where the necks want it to”

The third enlightment came from a discussion on domestic violence or peace at home. I have always taken for granted that home is where an individual feels safe in. However for victims of domestic violence, such definition became a mockery. On a deeper level for me as an individual, I feel truly blessed that my parents have provided us siblings with such a wonderful home.

I left after a delightful lunch, during which I got acquinted with many more wonderful ladies who shared generously with me their wisdoms in life. A note about Pheng, whose husband passed away when she was still pregnant with her youngest daughter,she single-handedly brought up her three daughters, worked as a fulltime MD of a international music company, active in community services and taking care of her own mother. How she managed to orchestrate such a successful forum with so many important VIPs while juggling between taking care of her own mother who happened to be be hospitalized during the same time, both her daughter and I were in awe.

Tomorrow on the papers, the keynote speech will be featured. But for the participants, we knew that though it is sometimes convenient for world leaders to talk about the world as divided between good vs evil, the hard work lies in addressing the complex sociological, cultural and religious differences that exists in our societies. Only with sheer determination, optimism and hard work on ourselves, our families and generations after generations will achieve peace. Now that the press is not looking, it is time to start work again. Salam, may peace be with you.

posted by Vegie @ 6:51 PM